Saturday, 11 July 2009
Horoscopes... more like HOMOscopes!!!
Please feel free to leave your comments on the matter below if you have continued to read this far. cya
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Switzerland
Back, but changing some things.
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Twilight
Monday, 27 April 2009
Portugal
Hey folk.
I supose I should update you on what I’ve been doing. I’m in portugal at the moment and have been for the past two weeks, one of which I spend on a piece of land in the north near Fugue. Life was a lot simpler there, there was no electricity or water, the most high tech household appliance was probably the gas stove. We got our drinking water from a spring, it was very rural, There was a doney and everything! *Rhyme* I must admit however that the donkey was a bit of an ass hole, he ate my frickin’ bread dough, he’s much like my cat bubbles but in donkey form, that bubbles is such an ass hole, always where you don't want him but never the less nono - The donkey - was a good guy, we had some good times. it’s shocking how much donkeys go so well with coffee, I feel like I’m in an advert whenever I drink coffee near a donkey, you won't understand until you do it. Due to the lack of running water I had to bathe in a nearby lake whilst i was there, I’ll admit there was a bath but it was far too small for me and I couldn’t really be bothered with the whole heating up the water process. It’s surprising how little you can get by with. There's so much to say about my time there i really don't know where to begin so i suppose i won't begin, i'll just skip ahead to where i'm at now.
I’m now in a place called cascais, near lisbon, I’ve been here for a few days and it has been absolutely top captain! I’ve met a lot of cool people, there’s a big surfing culture here and the pubs and clubs all have a great atmosphere. It’s surprising how many portuguese people are americans, I get the feeling that english is more useful than portuguese down here. In an interesting turn I am now considered scottish and I apparently have quite a strong scottish accent, I suppose I’m from wherever the person I’m talking to is not, to americans I sound scottish, to scottish I sound american. Silly times
Missionary kids are cool once they turn fifteen and start rebelling. I'm not used to the christian crew in a place being such sound people. I'm yet to shake off my slang that i've developed during my time in orkney, people get confused when i say thingslike"Scrub" or "pint" or "deck of fags" or "backy" . Jokes are a weird thing here, most people have never heard most of my pointlessly offensive scottish jokes about nouns, pedophiles and ethic monorities. They don't haveChuck Norris jokes here, even among the americans who know who Chuck Norris is, how weird is that? I had to explain the whole back story and tell them why it is meant to be funny, bad times.
I find that when you haven’t seen any films for a while the ones you do see become funnier and have more emotional impact than they would otherwise. Last night I was genuinely emotionally effected by the film “Monsters and Aliens”… in potruguese.
Anyway i've slammed a lot in here and have made everything far too breif, i'll try and keep this blog better updated. You guys take care. Those of you in sixth year be sure to show Ms Learmonth what she's taught us when muck up day comes about. How the balls do you spell her name?
Over and out! (should i start using that expression or is it too shit?)
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Buenas Dias!
Monday, 6 April 2009
Chateauroux
As I mentioned previously we are now in a quaint French town called Chatearoux. It's ridiculously hot. The warmest I've been since last time I was in southern France – If Ell is reading this I'll have you know it is even hotter than that time. Anyway It's a beautiful French town however it's brought me to again remember that i don't speak French, a problem that causes me bi-annual pain, the up side of this being that it serves as a practical use for my impeccable skill at charades, it must have been a hilarious sight for anybody who saw me trying to mime “Wifi Internet” to the locals. Personally I thought my impression of a satellite receiving and sending radio waves to be quite well done and the sound effects weren't too bad either. I'm now on the street stealing internet from a nearby apartment. However this en devour should make me better appreciate my enhanced communication skills i should have tomorrow as i pass through Spain where i will have no trouble blindly answering yes or no questions and asking people where my Tequilla is.
Anyway we're off to Portugal in the morning to see some old friends. There should be surfing in this for me which seems a plus. I haven't surfed since I was two years old but even then i doubt I'll have retained what inevitably little skill I had back then. I expect that I'll have a decent amount of internet access there so my blog should be better up to date that it has been in the recent past, although you can probably just assume that I will spend the next two weeks surfing and drinking fine wine in the sun whilst constantly surrounded by beautiful Portuguese women.
Sunday, 29 March 2009
London Town - V and A Hats party
Right, I haven't posted for a while due to the fact that ironically the place with the least internet access so far has been merry old London town. Anyway, Friday night we went a hat party at the Victoria And Albert Museum. There was hundreds and hundreds of people wearing silly hats, finally a party i don't feel out of place at. There was cat walks with people wearing funky hats; speeches from famous hat designers; 20s music; dancing hobos and a hat making workshop where i forged the most beautiful hat man has ever as much as dreamed of.
From left to right In this photo by the way is my amigo, Holly Sonabend who's londonese friends have taught me that it is fun to make fun of the scottish. Next is yours truly wearing my beautiful new hat, fresh out of the hat studio followed by my londonian companion, Shannon Hopkins and of course wee liz on the far right.
In the end, being orcadians, me and holly ended up drinking Stella Artois, listening to the waterboys and smoking cheap cigarettes in the V and A courtyard. If anyone asks we didn't know you weren't allowed to smoke there.
Anyway, We're in Chichester now, soon to enjoy Tamara's Birthday meal with the carter family. We're hitting the continent on Wednesday methinks.
As rightfully insincere as it sounds I miss you all, See you guys around.
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Update
- Thursday 12th of march. the night of "The Fireball!!" My first ever Flaming cocktail. Its surprising how much extra you have to pay for fire these days.
- At long last Sam and Ell Watched "The Shining" We've been putting this off for a good two years or so now.
- The Tinsel Twins were at last reunited. See the below post for a further account of the night.
- I'm blogging from a pub in keswick called "The Dog and the gun" how manly is that?
- Donald was cool enough as to join us on sunday night via Skype. We had a shirtless party with Sam, Hugh and Several action men figures.
- Sam and Hugh's flat is truly awesome
- I reached $1500,000,000 on mafia wars. What is the point of having money on mafia wars? all you spend it on is properties to provide you with more money; No one can see how much money you have and you can easily get everything you could possibly desire in the game for a meer $10,000,000. What a horrible game. Why do i play that game. I'd make a pact right here and now that i will never log into that time hole again if I wasn't so certain that I would break it.
- There are two 26 busses in edinburgh. Couldn't they just have a 26 and 27? or perhaps a 26a and a 26b? I went back and forth on that bus a whopping 2 times before i finally came to the conclusion that my stop was blocked due to construction. This led me to pointlessly walk for an entire 4 hours until i finally reached my destination only to see a 26 stop right outside the camping ground seconds before i arrived. But the bright side is that i never gave into paying the extra £1.20 to use the 129 and i never let my feminine side encourage me to ask the bus driver what the dealio-yo was.
- What the hell is a virgin shot?
- What's with this twilight obsession? how can he be "Hotter in the book"? It's a book!
- Sniffy!! Why have you joined Facebook?!?!?!?! You hate facebook! What are you thinking, Giving into your sworn enemy! You sick Bastard! I know no sniffy...
- Ikea!! The building is like a rabbit trail or a rat maze. It's impossible to make it out without walking through all these rooms filled with cool looking items that you don't want at first but after about an hour or two of the nineties popular music and colourful sofas, Ingvar Kamprad works his magic on you and you begin to desire all of those fancy ice cream scoops and funky Garlic Mincers. I already have a perfectly decent garlic mincer, thank you very much, and i doubt that anyone is going to judge me based upon the colour of my cheese grater.
Sunday, 15 March 2009
The Tinsel Twins 3
As with all other tinsel twins adventures the night did not yet come to an end when the pubs shut down. Oh no, Like all tinsel twins adventures it keeps on just getting started. The night carried on with more partying and less not partying than ever thought possible and they continue to party to this very day...