Sunday, 29 March 2009

London Town - V and A Hats party

Right, I haven't posted for a while due to the fact that ironically the place with the least internet access so far has been merry old London town. Anyway, Friday night we went a hat party at the Victoria And Albert Museum. There was hundreds and hundreds of people wearing silly hats, finally a party i don't feel out of place at. There was cat walks with people wearing funky hats; speeches from famous hat designers; 20s music; dancing hobos and a hat making workshop where i forged the most beautiful hat man has ever as much as dreamed of.

From left to right In this photo by the way is my amigo, Holly Sonabend who's londonese friends have taught me that it is fun to make fun of the scottish. Next is yours truly wearing my beautiful new hat, fresh out of the hat studio followed by my londonian companion, Shannon Hopkins and of course wee liz on the far right.

In the end, being orcadians, me and holly ended up drinking Stella Artois, listening to the waterboys and smoking cheap cigarettes in the V and A courtyard. If anyone asks we didn't know you weren't allowed to smoke there.

Anyway, We're in Chichester now, soon to enjoy Tamara's Birthday meal with the carter family. We're hitting the continent on Wednesday methinks.

As rightfully insincere as it sounds I miss you all, See you guys around.
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Wednesday, 18 March 2009


Right, a lot of you are probably reading my blog with the intention of finding out what I'm up to these days and are therefor disappointed about how all i've really done is made silly posts about kenneth and Tinsel Twins adventures and kenneth. So I will now briefly explain what i've been up to in the last week.

I don't want to bore you with a detailed account of every event that has taken place so far. I think we'd all prefer a bullet pointed summary of the highlights so far.
  • Thursday 12th of march. the night of "The Fireball!!" My first ever Flaming cocktail. Its surprising how much extra you have to pay for fire these days. 
  • At long last Sam and Ell Watched "The Shining" We've been putting this off for a good two years or so now.
  • The Tinsel Twins were at last reunited. See the below post for a further account of the night.
  • I'm blogging from a pub in keswick called "The Dog and the gun" how manly is that?
  • Donald was cool enough as to join us on sunday night via Skype. We had a shirtless party with Sam, Hugh and Several action men figures.
  • Sam and Hugh's flat is truly awesome
  • I reached $1500,000,000 on mafia wars. What is the point of having money on mafia wars? all you spend it on is properties to provide you with more money; No one can see how much money you have and you can easily get everything you could possibly desire in the game for a meer $10,000,000. What a horrible game. Why do i play that game. I'd make a pact right here and now that i will never log into that time hole again if I wasn't so certain that I would break it.
Whilst I am in a bad mood with the world, Here are the Anti-Highlights of my journey so far:
  • There are two 26 busses in edinburgh. Couldn't they just have a 26 and 27? or perhaps a 26a and a 26b? I went back and forth on that bus a whopping 2 times before i finally came to the conclusion that my stop was blocked due to construction. This led me to pointlessly walk for an entire 4 hours until i finally reached my destination only to see a 26 stop right outside the camping ground seconds before i arrived. But the bright side is that i never gave into paying the extra £1.20 to use the 129 and i never let my feminine side encourage me to ask the bus driver what the dealio-yo was.
  • What the hell is a virgin shot?
  • What's with this twilight obsession? how can he be "Hotter in the book"? It's a book!
  • Sniffy!! Why have you joined Facebook?!?!?!?! You hate facebook! What are you thinking, Giving into your sworn enemy! You sick Bastard! I know no sniffy...
  • Ikea!! The building is like a rabbit trail or a rat maze. It's impossible to make it out without walking through all these rooms filled with cool looking items that you don't want at first but after about an hour or two of the nineties popular music and colourful sofas, Ingvar Kamprad works his magic on you and you begin to desire all of those fancy ice cream scoops and funky Garlic Mincers. I already have a perfectly decent garlic mincer, thank you very much, and i doubt that anyone is going to judge me based upon the colour of my cheese grater.
Sorry, I went off in a bit of a curve there. This Stella must have gotten to me a wee bit. Thanks for reading, I'll try and keep you all posted.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

The Tinsel Twins 3

Friday - The day of the "Tinsel Twins" Adventure number 3. At a mere two o' clock The tinsel twins Began their day at Loony Lornas Tea house With A Tea called sleeping Beauty It was a very pretty cafe, and they used the most adorable little tea cosy on the cutest little teapot I have ever seen. Naturally, after such a Feminine Afternoon as this one the tinsel twins where forced to Reassert Their Manliness by Growing Moustaches and drinking excessively at the very first pub they could find...
But then, to save money; the second pub they could find where they ordered a four pint pitcher to get the get the drinking ball rolling. They were soon joined by Sam's flatmate and Sam's good friend: Hugh, to give him a warm welcome to This particular Tipsy Tinsel twins Adventure they ordered a trio of cocktails; A layered Cocktail and two others with names i probably shouldn't repeat...

As with all other tinsel twins adventures the night did not yet come to an end when the pubs shut down. Oh no, Like all tinsel twins adventures it keeps on just getting started. The night carried on with more partying and less not partying than ever thought possible and they continue to party to this very day...

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Sam leaves on his travels.

Thus Sam and Donald begin a new chapter of their adventure. Sam leaves with his family in their home renovated truck, known by all as Roxanne, for greater things. Kimberly, Sam and I (Donald) left Stromness on the Truck, destined to be filled with a family of Joneses and travel the world for a year, waving goodbye to all of the companions the Joneses have made in their 4 year residence. After a teary eyed goodbye at the Terminal, the Joneses set off, leaving kimberly and I in their wake. Donald and Sam are parted for 5 months. Only until august, when I shall join them in their adventures. Until then you will not be hearing from Sam and Donald together but we invite you to check-up on the updates, both from sunny, eventful Orkney and from Sam, in all his misadventures.

The Kenneths

Right, throughout the course of this blog we will inevitably be using a lot of private jokes that will severely confuse the readers. To solve this problem we will now explain our most commonly used of jokes, "The Two Kenneths"

No one knows how and little know why but long ago God made the most beautiful of mistakes... Kenneth. A boy with two bodies
, a body with two boys... Kenneth. he was born with a split personality disorder but luckily he had two bodies so it turned out fine.

For those of you who think this is a load of ball sacks here is some photographic evidence of the pair.

Here they are, enjoying a sophisticated conversation at the dinner table.

Note the difference in hat and shirt.

The debate ended up getting quite h
eated so our
amigo, Rodney came to break up the fight.

Here he is looking over Kenneth No.1's
 documentation of the incident.
Opposites attract as the Kenneths partake in discourse in the sixth year room.

However all hell breaks loose when kenneth No.1 comes on a little bit too strong.

The next morning at Casa de Kenneth was all too awkward.

Bit in the end differences were set aside with a little help from a friend.

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Thus it begins.

Here it is; the first post; I'll give you a basic story about what this is all about. As of tomorrow, I (Sam) will commence on a journey around the world in a truck called Roxanne for the duration of roughly a year. I will be joined in august by my closest of companions, friends and enemies; Donald Cowan. Until the point where we meet I will keep this blog updated with the news from my travels whilst Donald will attempt too keep a record of the events in the merry old Orkney Islands of which we both until tomorrow abide.