Saturday, 11 July 2009

Horoscopes... more like HOMOscopes!!!

Like Sam's twilight rant i have decided to have a rant about Horoscopes...... They are really gay!!! They are always really vague and unspecific and most of the time they don't even tell you what is going to happen they just suggest things that you should be doing, for instance i read my one today just to prove how gay they are and it said that i should be trying new things, being more artistic and trying out new types of creative energy or something like that. To start i would always suggest trying new things. Nobody want's to be doing the same thing all the time, anyone could have suggested THAT. Secondly, i would also recommend being more artistic to anyone which to be honest is just a safety shot as it can never be a bad idea to be more artistic even if it doesn't help you greatly in any way. Thirdly recommending creative energy is just self promoting and telling people to get into weird stuff like horoscopes and crystal...BALLS and Hogwarts and stuff which just makes me angry! FOURTHLY... WHO WRITES THESE THINGS ANYWAY!!!!! They are surely about as reliable as fortune cookies or the rantings of a drunken Irishman. I imagine they have some porpoises that move a series of plastic balls with fortunes inside some and star signs in others from one side of a pool to a different side into a little machine and that's how they are decided (much like i imagine that family guy jokes are matched with the stories they fit into (thank you south park)). And what about all those times horoscopes are wrong!!??!?!?! Doesn't that count for anything? i just think they're stupid and i don't see why people even read them. I'm sorry if i have taken up too much of your time but i just wanted to get that out, I'm also sorry if i have offended anyone but if you base your life decisions on horoscopes then you are a homo. THE END!!!

Please feel free to leave your comments on the matter below if you have continued to read this far. cya


  1. I completely disagree!! I thouroughly beleive with all my balls that each and every person with a birthday that falls into a certain time category should receive the exact same advice as every other person on the planet. I believe that fate has separated everyone in the world into groups of about half a billion in which they will all endure exactly the same thing as one another every day. Just think about every one that has the same star sign, take me and all the other aquariuss, did you ever realise that we all seem to do the same things every day? they were mannities, not porpoises... I rest my case.