Saturday, 11 July 2009

Horoscopes... more like HOMOscopes!!!

Like Sam's twilight rant i have decided to have a rant about Horoscopes...... They are really gay!!! They are always really vague and unspecific and most of the time they don't even tell you what is going to happen they just suggest things that you should be doing, for instance i read my one today just to prove how gay they are and it said that i should be trying new things, being more artistic and trying out new types of creative energy or something like that. To start i would always suggest trying new things. Nobody want's to be doing the same thing all the time, anyone could have suggested THAT. Secondly, i would also recommend being more artistic to anyone which to be honest is just a safety shot as it can never be a bad idea to be more artistic even if it doesn't help you greatly in any way. Thirdly recommending creative energy is just self promoting and telling people to get into weird stuff like horoscopes and crystal...BALLS and Hogwarts and stuff which just makes me angry! FOURTHLY... WHO WRITES THESE THINGS ANYWAY!!!!! They are surely about as reliable as fortune cookies or the rantings of a drunken Irishman. I imagine they have some porpoises that move a series of plastic balls with fortunes inside some and star signs in others from one side of a pool to a different side into a little machine and that's how they are decided (much like i imagine that family guy jokes are matched with the stories they fit into (thank you south park)). And what about all those times horoscopes are wrong!!??!?!?! Doesn't that count for anything? i just think they're stupid and i don't see why people even read them. I'm sorry if i have taken up too much of your time but i just wanted to get that out, I'm also sorry if i have offended anyone but if you base your life decisions on horoscopes then you are a homo. THE END!!!

Please feel free to leave your comments on the matter below if you have continued to read this far. cya

Wednesday, 1 July 2009


As I breifly stated in my last post I am now living alone in Switzerland... Well, Maybe not alone, I share a flat... A room... Ok, A bed but none the less I am no longer with my family, I work with a swiss moving company called "Speed Service" and I must say that out of the six jobs that I've had this one could quite likely be the best; I get along great with my co-workers including my boss which is always a very important factor; It is really enjoyable, pleasant work and It pays significantly better than any other job I've had.

I am living with a Christian Community of about forty people. My boss, Frankie started  Speed Service about four years ago and has since then bought a very large appartment block which provides accommodation for his employees. It is like a very close group of friends that eat together, live together, work together etc. All of the meals are  provided, everything! I litterally have not spent a single penny since my arrival in switzerland and have been living like a king. There is even a wide range of food, drinks, toiletries, sparklers and everything else I may need in the cellar for me to help myself to. Toiletries that answer your enquiry as to why I smell like Axe (Linx) anti-hangover shower gel that I have not been able to test but remain certain that it has absolutely no effect whatsoever on hangovers. Anti-Hangover? You've got to think about who the target buyers for these sort of things are, Slightly off topic but Did you ever notice that both Girl bands and Boy bands are girl's music? And why are Britney and All those other pop stars doing the whole sexy thing when their music targets women?? what the hell??

Anyway Switzerland is incredible, I am genuinely shocked at the economy over here, It is amazing, Prices of everything is not at all that much higher than any other western european countries yet everyone has so much money, I swear that in one day I see more ferraris than I do in a month anywhere else in the world! Yesterday we moved furniture into a place with one of them fireplaces thats in the centre of the room. I need say no more.

Anyway I'm here for a month and then off to Spain for the camino de santiago and that is as far ahead as I know, but I think I like it better that way, gives me alot more opportunities to be spontaneous, because we all know that spur of the moment decisions are allways the best... and worst.

Back, but changing some things.

Hello folks!

As you've probably all noticed my blog is starting to die. The reason for this I think is that I have been going about this blog the wrong way, I have been making very long posts and have been attempting to give you and up to date story about my time away, usually with a comedic spin. Now I have decided to become more selfish, I am going to use this blog as a place to put my thoughts and I will no doubt leave out a lot of crucial parts of my gap year journey, When I am im a hip mood my posts will be hip and funny, when I am feeling down they will likely be depressing and so on. There has obviously been a lot that has happened since my last post, such as my return to orkney and so on but I am not going to blog about all of that because this blog is no longer a story but an outlet for whatever is on my mind. I think the main reason I haven't been posting was beacuse I didn't want to have to catch you all up on what has happened leading up to what I am doing now. For example when I tell you that I have left my family and am now living with a christian community in switzerland, working for a Moving Company called "Speed service" you will probably be really confused as to how I ended up in such an odd position, I am now going to ignore problems of this nature and write about whatever is on my mind now matter how confusing is may be to you. Hopefully my new and hopefully I can use the word "Improved" blog should be kept better up dated and be slightly more interested than my previous layout.

You think I'm bad then take a look at donald's contribution!